Actually no. I was going to write this as a letter but chemo and I aren’t exactly friends and there’s really no hope for us. So best not.
Instead how about a day by day synopsis, now that I’m essentially half way through this chemo regime and might be starting to get into the groove! (Super exciting and yes I’m celebrating. But…. well it doesn’t end at chemo.)
So I am currently half way through four cycles of a regime of cytotoxic drugs referred to as TC (aka Docetaxel and cyclophosphamide. Acronyms just make medical oncology easier!). As an extra bonus I also receive zoledronic acid to help my bones. Each cycle lasts three weeks, and so far has followed roughly the same pattern:
Day 0 (ie the day before chemo). I start with a few pills, mostly steroids and anti-emetics. Because I got a cold sore on my first cycle I also have to take aciclovir every day. And I’m also on some mild painkillers and sleeping tablets. Just for kicks. No actually not for kicks, this whole process is stressful enough and I’m not going to make it worse through being in constant pain or not sleeping.
Also the steroids make me constipated so then there’s pills for that. The chemo gives me diarrhoea so ironically there’s also pills for that.
Anyway, now that my tummy is clinking I’m off to get a blood test. I now have my own vip patient cards – no forms for me 😊. Last time I forgot to drink enough before my blood test (you’d think that was impossible with all those pills!) so I got in trouble with the already frazzled (understaffed) nurse…. The blood test is to make sure that my blood count is high enough for it to be safe enough for me to go through the next chemo cycle….
The rest of the day is spent at work on a bit of steroid high and ends with more pills.
Day 1. My chemo day is a Thursday. So after dropping the kids off at school, my chemo buddy du jour picks me up and takes me to the hospital. I have a fun chat with my oncologist about the blood tests, what side effects I’ve been having, if I’m running short on anything or if I need a new prescription. At this stage it’s a fairly routine meeting. Later on I might have some scans to stress about, but at this stage there isn’t really anything to guide how well treatment is going.
By now the steroids have well and truly kicked in, and I tend to giggle and chatter through the day! Visitors are welcome cos honestly I’m quite exhausting to listen to lol.
I head through to the chemo ‘lounge’. To date I’ve had a mostly private bed, but as I haven’t had any reactions so far I’ll be moving through to the recliners next time. I’m hoping to get a seat next to my new chemo buddy, Jaz, but I’m not sure if you can request seats!
As I have three different drugs, and there is a saline flush before, between and after each, there’ll be a total of 7 bags of ‘goodies’ for me. On my first cycle it took five hours all up, on my second it was only 3 1/2, so who knows if it will get even faster!
There’s a brilliant woman from the cancer society who brings me lunch and is just generally awesome. And I find it fascinating watching the nurses all kit out in full gowns and face masks (never mind that they are doing it so as not to come in contact with the drugs going into me!).
My second chemo drug comes straight out of the fridge so does tend to freeze my arm. But I have a wheat pack to counter that. And so long as my veins play ball (which they have so far) then the infusion part of chemo is a doddle really.
Back home and a couple more pills to take.
Day 3. Back at work. Still on steroids and all the other drugs to manage the side effects. In the afternoon I have to give myself a Pegfilgrastim injection. Takes me back to my ivf days! I find it pretty easy but others get the district nurse to do it. This is a colony stimulating factor (ummm okay), which basically means it tells my body that I’m gonna need some new white blood cells. It massively reduces the chance of me going neutropenic (unable to fight infections).
Day 4 and 5, continue with the steroids and antiemetics. Slowly start to get tired and freak out that my crap days are coming….
Day 6 the tiredness kicks in. This isn’t your usual tired. This is the type where you literally can’t stay awake at any point, and lasts for about three days.
Day 7 my body gets the message about making white blood cells. And oh my it hurts. The bigger bones are the worst, but this last time my ankles really hurt.
Around about now food starts tasting like crap. Or dirt. Or soap. Water in particular is hard to drink. So yes I’m trying to look after myself. But you’ll just have to get over that I’m drinking juice for a few days. (Don’t kid yourself, of course I get a lot of unwanted health advice!). Day 7 is when everything hits at once and my brain just says “no, not doing this again” like a petulant weepy teenager.
And then day 9 or 10 arrives and I feel mostly human again. By about day 14 the teenager has left the building and, while not exactly ready to do it all again, I’m feeling like I can do this. For now. As long as something improves soon and I know there is a point to it!
So that’s it. Chemo in a nutshell. Class dismissed.